Only CHANGE is CONSTANT

It feels like ages since I wrote my last blog post. I guess I fell victim to indolence and timely mind numbness. A lot has changed since then. I am back in Hyderabad which is the best Indian city to live in according to the reputed "The Economic Times" and this place just keeps getting more crowded each time. The skyscrapers with their queer brilliance and the delicious delicacies of the dhabas that run the side of streets. The huge malls which make me feel tiny and the road traffic pumping in and out all day. There is this thing about big cities, always busy with people bustling about and rushing to nowhere significant. You just do not go with the flow, infact you are pushed, juggled and rocked side to side before you make it to the desired destination. You come across people so filthy rich  dining, shopping and drinking their youth away and in contrast, those poor lads at bus stations and streets begging and pleading with you for food or money. When the corpulence and the thinness do not fit the beautiful clothes hanging by the spacious malls. And every time I walk these streets, my gaze is glued to the fancy cars speeding the roads and I find it amazing how people strive and sweat it to finally be able to buy their favorite car. Now and then, I hear stories about people quitting their monotonous jobs chasing their big dream and becoming a billionaire. Then I slip into quiet and contemplate on all the things that have changed.

Often do I fall into a reverie wishing for the cheap thrills with buddies during hostel and college days. How the word "Jugaad" became the tagline of my life and everything was taken care of since then. How a single chocolate bar was shared among 5 people, how golgappas were the cheapest favorite snack and everything could be borrowed instead of being bought. How our pocket money was never enough for the food cravings that knew no bounds. And those midnight blues when every taylor swift fan joined the chorus to either diss their exes or newly found crush. Weekends were desperately looked forward to because every girl competed to buy the most ravishing clothes at the cheapest  prices, this happened every freaking saturday! Some saturdays would turn into sleepovers and others into movie nights. Oh god! Those were the days :D I got carried away, hehe.

And now it is all over, I feel a bit clueless, like I am thrown into some other planet. These city lights blind me sometimes. Everything feels a bit congested and I find myself digging up a pit so that I can doze off in it and wake up when it is all over. This change is a bit overwhelming, more like, intimidating. And when I ask for advice, it will be pouring from all sides and I am dumbstruck, like a lost puppy. They say change is inevitable and yet that familiar warmth of my bed, that similar taste of my tea every morning, the look of their face always inviting haunt me out of blue. I guess I need to find my jam, my thing and some new people who are as crazy, silly and eccentric as I am. I hope this city will feel like home again real soon.
I am going to put a stop to my rants now. I feel hungry, need to take a shower and have lunch. Signing out, See you soon, guys :D

Funky and Flaky,

TIME AND TIDE WAITS FOR NONE

Here I am! Nothing like the gushing time washing away seasons. It has been long since I wrote down anything about everything that is been filling up the glass of my life. I was caught up in this web of lethargy and reluctance to sit down patiently and rattle my mind to type words out. Youtube has always been my favorite destination and google my second. To my amazement, today is one of those "Wake Up, Ana" days for I could gather myself to write ..   

Today, I opened my still weary eyes to stumble upon the fact that the three years

of Engineering have already passed. It felt like untying the knots in my mind trying to recall where I spent all these three years. From what I could conjure was that some weekends were about shopping and eating out. While others were about Assignment deadlines or Exam prep days. These three years were a Rush-Fest. Rushing to the library to re-issue books, rushing to the department to submit assignments, rushing to the health centre for friends, rushing to the canteen for snacks on a phone call, rushing to friends' to borrow dresses/accessories for parties. I cannot recall the time when my mind felt blank. The time we call as "Soul-searching" moments. There were so many instances when I felt that keeping my mouth shut would have been the best alternative. There was just NO time to rescan the situations. God, I felt busy, in my mind, in my thoughts, in my words. 

Now that I joggle my memory, I can recollect how these three years became a history. It was when I was making a greeting card for him, when I flew to Delhi alone for a networking championship, while preparing for the presentations(three of them) when I was waiting for him to take me on dates, while trying to find a better set of people to spend my time with, when I was wishing that things would go my way.  The opportunities that I grabbed and the ones that slipped away from my hand. The time wasted on people who could never be entrusted with and the ones I overlooked who could do me good. The time spent on mugging up the subjects I despised, prompting answers and even assignments.  Now that I look back, I am struck with awe at my restless self..

Last year of Engineering and I still continue to be a careless wreck. I still have not learnt how to tie a sari round myself, when to  refrain myself from making an inappropriate joke at strangers, how to sell a lie, how to be at a place on time, how to be diplomatic when friends fight ;) , how to forgive people ad move on. Phew!  So much left to learn and I am still like a kid craving all the pampering and affection. Only a miracle can save me from the things that I do and say. Time does fly away so fast :) 

Grumpy and Reckless,

* Reminiscence * (A Poem)

The sunlight tumbled upon the tinted window
Slipped into the room illuminating her pallid face
Awakens the soul gone weary from work last night.
As Forced her eyes to open, his memory struck her,
like a migraine, an incurable one, thudding in her head
The Memory still fresh as dew droplets on the window,
Pulling off the curtains, she prayed for freedom.
Freedom from his thoughts, his crooked smile
that diluted her senses, stamped in her memory.
Helpless did she feel for the cruel realization 

When rain pour down heavily like ugly swords 
up high from the grey beaten but heavenly skies,
And raindrops play tickety tac on her old roof,
His memory would sneak in uninvited while
she sits absorbed, sipping coffee in the porch.

When her twirling hand on white pale canvas
merge colors to animate her dreary imagination
Interrupted by the memory of his handsome face
Those hauntingly beautiful eyes staring into hers,
That licking of his lips again before kissing her,
Were futile attempts to replicate the face on canvas.

When radio blare out songs, only contributing
to the noise of abyss by careless neighbors,
That one song, slow down her spinning world
Every star burnt bright on the tattered skies,
As they sat together on terrace with her head
On his shoulders, their cold hands intertwined.

When night would grow younger and thicker
dreams exiled by insomnia search for home
On her bed, lied awake, engrossed in the quiet
As her little phone starts to beep shamelessly
An urge sprouts up in the corner of her heart
His voice, she craved to hear on her machine.

With all these merciless years that strolled by
Every now and then, a downpour, the song,
the phone beeping halfway through the night,
stir the thoughts and memories of him in her,
But now she held the hand of another man
guiding her through the dark road ahead.

Caught IN PAPARAZZI #

"I may not be popular but I think I'm doing everything right in life. I got talent. I got skill. I got a heart which is warm filled with compassion and love for others."

I never knew that being popular was a big deal until now. People want to talk, sit, eat and hang out with popular people, wishing to share their limelight. Being talented or skilled does not beat drums if you are not pretty enough. If you do not roam with a dozen different guys every other day. Gone are the days when people clicked pictures to keep them as a memento of memories, they take pictures to upload them on facebook, twitter and other social networking sites. Everyone wants to increase their circle of friends and even include a nerd to get a good grade in exams. Making true friends was never so tough until I stepped in the college.  And when you realize that amidst all stress and pressure building up around you demanding competitiveness, you feel the need of a friend to offer a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on. Someone who will want to be your friend despite your clumsiness and idiotic ideas, walk that extra mile with you.Then I sit back and reflect upon what I have become in these two years - a more cynical and bitter person. Should I join the race to become popular in college when I know that they will remember me no more as soon as I pass out from this university? Is it right to judge the people who are involved in the race?