He is her time machine pulling her inward, to the time when he belonged to her but she gave him up. She was naive, afraid, young and love seemed like a cage and she, a bird. Sometimes the very thing you are searching for walks right past you and you fail to recognize it, acknowledge it. You keep wandering around frantically and in desperation. For her, it was him who had gotten away.
It was a long time back when she had first stumbled upon his social media profile, she found him engaging and sent him a text "Hey". Little did she know that this guy was going to mess her up so bad. He was the nicest guy, haha, he still is. It was so easy to fall for him, you don't even have to try. His friendship grew on her and she got addicted. Every time she would screw up, he would say, "It'll be fine, you'll be fine!", she would just believe it, like he could magically fix just anything. Love is hard to fathom when you are living life selfishly and do not love yourself enough to accept love.
Every time she walks down the memory lane, it leads her back to him. Every time she has her heart broken, she picks up her phone, recalls his number from memory and sends him a text. Then she eagerly waits till he replies and when he does, she lights up like a Christmas tree. He writes "What's wrong?" Part of her hates that she is not able to resist the temptation to message him. It is tough because he is her cure. He still feels like home where she can be herself, vulnerable and fragile. She wonders if he still feels anything for her but is afraid to ask.
Love can be such a complex thing. You break the same person that you built. You hurt them, why? To see them bleed love for you? You push them away hoping them to find their way back to you. He was afraid to lose her when he did not even have her. And when she felt the same, she did not have him anymore. Every time she talks to him, she hopes she could run back in time and fix things. She hopes they could start all over and that she could undo the pain. He is her time machine pulling her inward, to the time when she lost him and she hopes that he could love her again some day, may be.
