As My Mind Wanders (Poem)

I wonder why 
one can feel the wind but not touch it, 
how one can dream with the eyes open,
still remember a song word by word
after a decade,

I wonder how
you can smile with a heart that's broken
Wait for someone 
who will never come back.
Lie to all with those eyes
never prone to decieving.

I wonder why
I fall in love easy,
Cannot remember the birthdays,
Mess things up, still not blame myself
Need a reason to be happy
but not for being sad.

I wonder why
you call me pretty when 
I just wake from my bed,
you call me strong
when there is no oxygen
running in my blood.
how you touch my soul
without touching me.

I wonder why
sometimes, I feel like a lost kid,
like I belong nowhere, 
like every way is a dead end,
I wonder what if
I'm the only one
who feels this way.

♣ BiRthDaYs & StUfF ♥

Here I am again. I am not sure how I felt about no more being a teenager when I turned 20, two days ago. Growing up was never my cup of tea. I am the one who is always expected to get naughty, childish and reckless at the weirdest hours of the day. I even got myself certified for my crazy streak when I gave up a large share of my pocket money to buy a basketball just to show it off at the basketball court, when I flipped out during a presentation and was  like "Listen to me even if I am talking sh*t"  and when I proposed a senior. I wonder if all this is a part of growing up. Talking about my birthday, I had the best birthday so far. 

I was pretty upset when the day before my birthday was a wreck. The lab exam and the viva did not go well. But on my birthday the luck lady did smile upon me 'cause the DS lab exam went awesome. My partner was already a pro. Having exams during your birthday is a bummer but I got to thank all those people who nevertheless made it so special for me. Getting a cake on your birthday is an expected thing in hostels but it never hurts to pretend that you are not expecting it. Well, I did expect it so I hung up on calls at midnight to feign a surprise when my roommates and friends brought the chocolate cake, a bunch of balloons into the room and sang "Happy Birthday" at the top of their voices. The birthday bumps was not my favorite part. I think it was a pretty good idea to bring the balloons along with the cake because I had condemned them to even touch my wall beforehand. So the balloons served as decoration stuff. I must say that the cake was delectable. To be honest,  I would have been a little disappointed if it wasn't a chocolate cake. The best part was the big Teddy bear that they gifted me. I remember telling them jokingly that I want a giant teddy for my birthday, so I was pretty damn excited carrying my big fat new teddy bear. Still searching for a name though. The birthday wishes kept pouring in all day long through calls and messages. It felt nice :) One of my good friends who is also my benchmate gifted me another present which was too adorable. It was a small idol of that alien "Jadoo" from the movie "Koi mil gaya". She said that she chose it because she thought that I'm out of the world. But I think that she actually meant that I'm an alien. :| Other gifts were great too but this one was really different. Although the party is still due but I think that I had an awesome birthday. Everyone on my "pretty-important-people" list wished me and the rest who did not wish me, well, they are not important to me. So don't bother. Really, I love birthdays, whether it's mine or friends'. You get to have cake, with the yelling and everything, the parties, the photo-sessions in the end. 

So I am going to wrap it up here. As my end term is approaching, the urge to write is growing since I will be spending most of the time studying in my room. Exams, bah!

Weird but Fun