A Goodbye. (Poem)

Long forgotten the memories once again knocked at my door
My vision started to blur as my heart crashed into the floor.

An ordeal of a decade,  to bury my haunting past alive,
you took me by my shivery hand, we both took a dive.
into the freezing cold-heart ocean, I fell out of breath,
But you kissed life into me, I opened my eyes to cheat death.
Each day broke as a thrilling horror, a lost battle I had to fight
Plunged into a pit of plight, I strived to make it through the night.
Every second wrote destiny with a sword that will cut me through,
But the words that you speak turn every lie into consoling truth.

If only my heart could still hold this river of love that flows within,
With every touch, I grow pure and flawless devoid of any sin.

So if you wish to walk out the door tonight, I won't cry.
For you are an angel with halo, will never let me die.

IMPERFECTION Is Beautiful. So am I.

So here I am. Life is so incomprehensible at the moment but I am so caught up in its flow that days just seem to roll by without much notice. Nights are always weary and dreary. And my thoughts are so jumbled and scattered all the time. I just got over being homesick. I still remember how excited I was at this time of last year. Going for basketball or volleyball looked a big deal. Roaming outside the campus was adventurous and exhilarating. Shopping on my own was my favorite but now all these things have become a part of the routine. It makes me realize that in the midst of all of that, I have either grown on personal level or become more kiddish. I have become messier and more unorganized over the year.  Perhaps because I have collected plenty of stuff to fill my side of the room with or for I am no longer under the nose of the super-senior unlike last year who could easily become unimpressed by the mess I could possibly make. Moreover I have been so organized and tidy this whole time that being a pretty mess won't hurt, I guess. Lately, imperfection appeals more to me. I have always burried myself down under the pressure of being perfect but now I feel that being perfect should not always be my business. Imperfection can be beautiful as well. Being a drama queen sometimes just adds a pinch of spice to life. I do not have to be a tidy freak or too nice a person in order to endear myself to every single person out there. 

So yeah, I am single and it does not bother me as much as it does to others. That's something new for me. I never felt the need to have a person of opposite sex to tell me how beautiful or nice I am. I got friends who make me feel too good about myself that insecurity never creeps in. I do not have to rely on false assurance of a guy to get my life on track. I do not have a boyfriend but I got a life which is more adventurous and crunchier than those with a long term boyfriend. "You just have not fallen in love yet!" - now that I get a lot from people but having a boyfriend was never a top priority in my life. Love was always an option. For me love can never be equivalent to life. It is not like I am socially awkward or against those involved in relationship but I do not regret a thing in my life. I accept life as it is. I will never hurry into a relationship because of the peer pressure. This is not justification as to why I am still single. I will get engaged in  a relationship when Mr. Right comes along. I know he's worth the wait. And when he arrives, life will be a bit easier till than I am on my own, setting my own rules giving my own definition to life.