Some NIGHTS I stay UP.

There are days when you wake up feeling so darn SINGLE. You reach out for your phone next to your pillow, see a couple of replies from your friends who had no courtesy to reply any sooner last night that you dozed off. You get an urge to message your crush imagining all possibilities of him falling for your humor when he reads your texts, you try to look pretty in your pictures and sometimes dorky so that he assumes that you are fun and crazy, in a good way though. But when nothing seems to work out, you stab those urges every time they sprout up. Ah! Could I feel anymore single? You hope that your ex boyfriend is still single because you are single. You stalk his facebook profile one night and somehow end up cursing every girl that ever posed with him in pictures. This leaves you so depressed and hungry that all you can think about is raid the fridge. And just when you are about to do so, you are reminded of your ordeal at the gym to lose that 5 pounds, that you step backward and take a walk of shame back to your room. Now you are left with less options, you think of watching a romantic movie with a perfect happy ending, the ones which show in the end -  "And they lived happy ever after". You get all touchy and mushy when the hero is unknowingly in love with the heroine but never admits it until in the end, when he finally proposes to her. You wish that life was a movie with everything just as same and swear at every guy(in your mind) that tried to wreck your fairytale. And then in the middle of night,  when you are still not alright feeling vulnerable and fragile, you try calling your besties and unfortunately this is that one night when none of those idiots are awake. You see yourself scooped into the blaming zone, where you blame yourself for every failed relationship you ever had, you blame yourself for all his calls that went unreturned, you blame yourself for fighting with him, you blame yourself for all his plans that were cancelled by you, you blame yourself for not being pretty enough that he cheated on you and the blaming goes on until you fuse into a stream of tears. You convince yourself that love is not your cup of tea and that you are going to die single, that you will forever be alone. I have read somewhere that crying makes you feel tired and sleepy, and once the sob-fest begins, the blaming resumes, you also start to blame yourself for messing up your grades in school-high school-college, for not saying yes to that guy in your high school who is now working in a topnotch company and looks hotter than ever and this goes on for hours until you drift into a long and deep slumber. The next morning feels more like a hangover. You feel stupid and silly for being a miserable moron last night because you know that you are awesome and pretty. You shake off the negativity and plan the rest of the day.

I feel being single is not a big deal, what really is a big deal is whether you are happy or not, whether you are doing stuff that you are passionate about. You never know when and who is falling in love with you, until then you got to enjoy life and treat yourself like a queen. I am pretty starved now. Signing out, See you soon :)

Famished and Funny,