SHE

I don't like the way my chin doubles when I look down at my shoes,

I don't like how my flabby arms peek out of my half sleeve,

I don't like how I falter when I walk in my heels,

I don't like the fact that my nose is not sharp, the way pretty clothes don't fit me and my jeans is too tight at my waist. I don't like how I got tiny chubby fingers and a muffin top that makes my dresses look clumsy.

I don't like how I laugh like a big old man sometimes and my voice comes out squeaky when I tell a sad story. I don't like that I burn my fingers when I am cooking (rarely though). I don't like how they judge me for dressing up like a tomboy or spend too much on shopping. I don't like how some things never go my way and how I worry about petty things that cause no harm.

I don't like that when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't recognize who I really am, I get lost, I feel trapped. I feel all the emotions at once and the very next moment , I am a unfeeling robot.

But..

I love .. love how my eyes crinkle when I smile.

I love how my lips look puffy and radiant when I apply that particular shade of pink.

I love how my hair go wavy naturally and gracefully after I wash and let em dry.

I love how my face shimmers when I come back from gym, how my lower back is arched beautifully and how my thighs look attractive in jeans. I love my pout in pictures and that wink that goes along so frigging well.

I love how I start a story with a monotone just to crack people up with the punchline. I love how I can infuse my energy into the room, easily make people dance and sing at parties. I love the generosity I show toward people. I love how I accept my mistakes and learn from them. I love how I still trust in the goodness of people despite heartbreaks, rejections and humiliations. I love how strong I have become and yet don't fear to show some vulnerability. I love how things fall into place when I don't lose hope. I love how I feel lost and yet find myself every morning.

Either love or hate myself sometimes I have to make that choice every frigging day and I choose to love myself unapologetically and unconditionally every single time, like I would love another soul.

Comfortably Numb,

Back to You

Have you ever felt like some things that you keep throwing or putting away, keep coming back to you, like that book that always end up in my purse, and you just got to finish it, that one pair of shoes that you were going to dispose of, turns out to be the most comfortable one and you fucking wear them almost everyday. It is weird and a bit astonishing knowing that you just cannot escape things and people that are meant to be there in your life. You just got to accept them or maybe cherish them :)

#peaceOut #ThingsThatAmazeMe