I don't like the way my chin doubles when I look down at my shoes,
I don't like how my flabby arms peek out of my half sleeve,
I don't like how I falter when I walk in my heels,
I don't like the fact that my nose is not sharp, the way pretty clothes don't fit me and my jeans is too tight at my waist. I don't like how I got tiny chubby fingers and a muffin top that makes my dresses look clumsy.
I don't like how I laugh like a big old man sometimes and my voice comes out squeaky when I tell a sad story. I don't like that I burn my fingers when I am cooking (rarely though). I don't like how they judge me for dressing up like a tomboy or spend too much on shopping. I don't like how some things never go my way and how I worry about petty things that cause no harm.
I don't like that when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't recognize who I really am, I get lost, I feel trapped. I feel all the emotions at once and the very next moment , I am a unfeeling robot.
But..
I love .. love how my eyes crinkle when I smile.
I love how my lips look puffy and radiant when I apply that particular shade of pink.
I love how my hair go wavy naturally and gracefully after I wash and let em dry.
I love how my face shimmers when I come back from gym, how my lower back is arched beautifully and how my thighs look attractive in jeans. I love my pout in pictures and that wink that goes along so frigging well.
I love how I start a story with a monotone just to crack people up with the punchline. I love how I can infuse my energy into the room, easily make people dance and sing at parties. I love the generosity I show toward people. I love how I accept my mistakes and learn from them. I love how I still trust in the goodness of people despite heartbreaks, rejections and humiliations. I love how strong I have become and yet don't fear to show some vulnerability. I love how things fall into place when I don't lose hope. I love how I feel lost and yet find myself every morning.
Either love or hate myself sometimes I have to make that choice every frigging day and I choose to love myself unapologetically and unconditionally every single time, like I would love another soul.
Comfortably Numb,
As weird as it sounds I could actually feel the warmth in blue section like a hug...A really really warm hug...😘
ReplyDeleteThis is really, really good when it comes to self love which is always very important 👌
ReplyDeleteWriting about own is not a cup of tea. It is a lovely and honest post.
ReplyDeleteOnce someone told me...
"The increasing self-esteem and self-love also makes you feel more deserving of good things in life and so you’ll self-sabotage less and go after what you deep down want with more motivation and focus than ever before".
You are on the same path keep it up.
You're strong indeed! Self love is very important. Fall in love with taking care of yourself. 😊
ReplyDeleteLovely piece of writing! It's beautiful how the article shows the two sides of *her*, and ends with *Comfortably Numb* to reinstate the feeling that we all live in a shade of grey. It's upto us to see either white or black in it, and that it’s best to be comfortable with your flaws...
ReplyDeleteI generally don't read long blogs, especially ones on Self love and importance..but this one, particularly, got my attention.
ReplyDeleteIt has so much of positivity in it...makes you appreciate the little good things we have in us and we fail to notice let alone appreciating
Thanks for all the positivity Anamika.
One can actually relate to it..really nice written.. everyone deserves best and knowing your worth is the first step.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you need my comments anymore to make any of your article go viral. Just look at the responses that you've got. You slaying it girl <3
ReplyDeleteLove you fatass!