Shipwrecked

Emotions. That's all they are, they pass. You will not be overwhelmed by them as much as you are now. You will feel better the next day. And then, that one song is enough to trigger all those emotions back in you, you are left feeling vulnerable and exposed again. They say it gets easier and then you would forget. But all you needed were the answers to the questions that they left you with. You turn to distractions, netflix, food and friends. Perhaps your friends already know the story and the repeating them does not make anything better. You feel like a defeated hopeless soul. "Perhaps I am not the best person and I deserved what happened to me." And you are still trying to see the big picture, how it could be a blessing in disguise and that I should stop beating myself up. I often wonder how these wounds would make you a better person, they make me bitter and untrusting. They make me more cynical, less optimistic and more afraid.