CHOICES That We Make (Return of NOSTALGIA) Ѫ

So, here I am . The last few days have been more like a whirlwind pushing me into a river of thoughts and memories. I still wonder what my life would have been like if I were studying in Andhra Pradesh and not in Assam. One thing I was certain of was that If I had chosen to continue my studies there, I would have never learnt about my own culture i.e Assamese culture. It would have been a shame. In fact, I'm not even fluent yet in speaking Assamese. They say language can sometimes become a barrier in friendship - Not always true. There will always be people who would be ready to accept you the way you are, despite your flaws and all. All you have to do is hold on to them. I consider myself lucky to have such people in my life. Then there are going to be some people who would never miss a chance to ridicule you by pointing out even you pettiest faults. Well, I'm led astray by my other philosophies and findings. I was saying that sometimes you have to make certain choices, choices that can be really difficult to make. Choosing between Sec-bad and my own place, Assam was sure a tough one. It was like choosing between an ice-cream and a chocolate. You love them both but you dad will buy you only one of them. Sec-bad has been like a home to me for a decade. When you live at a place for so long, it grows on you. You know the streets and some of the important routes you embed in your mind to school, hospital, malls and restaurants. Then you got friends somewhere near your place and you can drive to them every time you get lonely during weekends and especially during long vacations.  What really intrigued me that I had only a couple of Assamese friends, I never really knew what it was like to grow up in your own native place, speaking a language that sets you apart from the people of other states, our own rituals and rites. I am not a religious or a spiritual person but I respect tradition and certain mystical beliefs people have about everything. It is not logical to support them but if it is doing them good and making them a better person, why bother? And I wished to get familiar to some of them. Another reason that can be accounted was that everyday I would hear people rambling on in their language , Telegu. Although I prefer myself and others to speak or learn to speak in Hindi, I learnt that how much in love they were with their own language and were proud of it. So, I felt it is time that I learn Assamese too. They say that the best way to learn a language is to stay amongst the native speakers and learn it. So here I am. Moreover, I am a sort of person who is not fond of a routinized life. Same places, same faces, they bore me. I love variety. I love change. Living in a place for more than ten years did not seem a brilliant idea to me. So I was compelled to be here, the place where my parents grew up. Everything about here is wonderful. Except, I miss the big malls and restaurants that would lined up along streets in sec-bad. But our university is like a little paradise to us. Riding off our bicycles by the playground at night does send a chill down my spine for the field would be teeming with lights with guys and girls playing football, cricket and basketball, it sure is a thrilling sight. You don't have to drive out of the campus for street food. We got stalls within the campus, golgappe, momos, chaat - street food. When I had first stepped into the campus for counselling, I could not help but gape at the magnificent, at the same time, spectacular panorama. Right then, I knew that I am going to have the time of my life here. Our university is engulfed in the beauty of nature. But now is the time to rest our asses off at home.

It is amusing that when people ask me where I'm from, I'm bound to say Jorhat instead of Sec-bad. Taking birth at a particular place and growing up in a different place leaves me with a question mark, what would be the appropriate answer to - Where am I from? If only they would ask me where I hail from? Jorhat it is. But if they ask where I grew up, I'd say Sec-bad. But now I'm fed up of explaining it to people, so I rather tell them that I'm from Jorhat but then they question more as to why my accent does not seem to prove the fact that I'm from Jorhat, then I explain them the whole thing again in a monotonous tone. And every time I'm caught in this situation, I am annoyed. I remember how in schools, folks were always excited to ask me where I come from 'cause I looked different, not really, I look like how northeast people do, and I would feel special. Alas, does not happen anymore. But everyone is so nice and warm here that I never feel left out here. And the weather is so soothing and refreshing. In sec-bad, you could never tell a difference between winter and autumn and summer was too hot and dry. But here, summer is hot, winter is cold, that's how it should be, right?  But at times, I do get nostalgic reminiscing the years I have spent in Andhra Pradesh. Sometimes, I just cannot recall the smell of those streets or the faces of the folks in our colony or the taste of those golgappas from the stall stood nearby our school. And I miss it. Good or Bad, I miss it all. :')

Pretty and Peppy,